It is normal to see people loving each other. But it becomes so sweet when partners engage in love, the love that leads to the marriage. This kind of love excites the family and people bravo it. It is simply quite good to stay with your rest days’ love. And, love is everywhere.
University is another environment where love is possible. University students can love to engage in love targeting marriage (it happens because get married to either fellow students or others) or targeting joy.
According to some students who speak to The Kaminuza Star say that some couple students at the University of Rwanda Huye Campus are not interested in building a love that targets marriage. They say that they only engage in love to enjoy life. Each of the two knows well that there is no common future for them. And no one is worried about it at all.
Alexandrine Tumukunde, a year three student in Accounting Department completely agrees that love that does not target marriage at university is there.
“It is good to never promise such a strong decision to your partner. My partner and I can agree to enjoy our love, but marriage is another issue that comes after – it might come or not,” she says.
Speaking about the regrets between the two lovers, she responds: “It is good to never expect marriage while you are in a relationship to avoid regrets,” she added.
Another UR Huye student, Remy Ndayishimiye Mugisha also confirms that kind of love between students.
“I engage in love at university but my target is happiness and leisure, not marriage”, he says.
One of the reasons revealed by students for engaging in love for marriage purposes is poverty.
“I can’t plan for marriage without money. Most times, ladies get married shortly after they graduate from university but we boys need to make money after graduation and plan for marriage after,” Remy revealed.
Edouard Elyssa, a year two student in Department of Arts and Publishing says that love for some students amin the campus is like a don’t. He says: “I prefer calling my lover a best friend to a girlfriend. It helps us to never plan for marriage.”
Adelphine Mutesiwase views money as a thing that does not matter in love because a real boyfriend does not need money to get married. But all he needs is love before other things.
Talking about the state of love, Dr Jeanne Marie Ntete, a Psychology expert says: “Everyone needs to be in a relationship and it is better when you feel accompanied. If most drive depends only on certain services before falling in love, it will be like selling oneself. It is like a business”.
“Love is not joking. It can have a direct impact on depression when someone decides to leave before another. But, to avoid its impacts on your future marriage, everyone needs counseling before marriage as a couple’s therapy to help him or her. You explore and discuss everything that has happened to everyone among yourselves to know each other before marriage. In pre-marital counseling, all the past love wounds are healed”, Dr. Ntete adds.
Neuroscientists describe five stages of a relationship which are: attraction; an early part of friendship and falling in love, curiosity; this time infatuation faded a bit to find out whether you are real persons to continue as a couple, crisis; where partners drift apart according to their weaknesses, etc., deep attachment; where the calm comes after the crisis because you know each other and commitment- where everyone strongly knows other’s values and future goals. At the commitment stage, each lover is proud to present his/her lover to friends and family.
By Jean Dedieu Tumukunde